[the end of an era]

Today I am transitioning away from a year-long era that I thought I might never see the end of.

After struggling for 12 full months to complete the most difficult project I’ve ever taken on, the end of the tunnel is finally within view.

All the developing, fundraising, recording, and mixing of the album is complete. It is now getting its bow tied on in mastering, and then, it will finally be sent to print next week.

It’s really almost here. June 29th is the baby’s bornday.

I am full of relief and gratitude. Finally, the music that has been cooped up inside of me will be able to dance freely in the world — far beyond me and even my lifespan. I will be able to shake the strange subliminal fear that this music will die with me. I will be able to fucking exhale.

Everyone who knows me knows that I’ve put life completely on hold in order to make this happen. There was absolutely no question about my focus. It had to be done.

This album has been such a release for all the growth and wisdom I’ve gained throughout my life. It is my most sacred thing, and I have sacrificed literally everything — everything — to manifest it in its full potential.

The music flowed and told me exactly where to go. But funding this undertaking all on my own that was suffocatingly difficult. I paid my studio before I paid rent or got food or covered basic needs, and many times, there wasn’t enough to go around. It took priority over my health, my security, everything. I was hanging on for dear life and kept on trudging.

I did it with no support or encouragement from my family members, or almost any of my friends.

I am thankful for that struggle because in the end it has allowed me feel the depth of this accomplishment that much more. It’s rooted in a place in me that no one can ever take away.

A lot has changed since I posted about it back when I was in the middle of  the process on Nov. 28, 2011, but we made it, and we’re better for it.

Cheers to not making excuses. Cheers to going out and hunting down the dream that haunts your heart and all your hours.

I’ve never worked half as hard on anything else in my entire life.

It was worth it.

Thank you Ben Lorio, Jeremy Phipps, Jordan Koppens, Kate Monson, Jhilli Bean, Mike Robbins, and Alex Glustrom. You are dreamcatchers.